thisbitterpill

Time Is Running Out

2006-07-11T04:47:00.000-07:00

Time Is Running Out.

I think I'm drowning,

Asphyxiated.

I want to break the spell,

That you've created.

You're something beautiful.

A contradiction.

I wanna play the game.
I want the friction.

You

Will be the death of me.

Yeah, you

Will be the death of me.

Bury it

I won't let you bury it.

I won't let you smother it.

I won't let you murder it.

But our time is running out.

You can't push it underground.

You can't stop it screaming out.

If

2006-06-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

If you had once shot at immortality, what would you do? Would you do anything else differently? What would you like to try? Would you still wake up in the morning, have a glass of coffee and go to work all the same as before? Me. I would like to try and commit suicide. To know what it feels like to fall from 56 stories. To leap off and experience that few seconds of freedom in mid-air. I would love to find out what scenes of my life would flash in front of my eyes. Would it be the time that I had to walk around school in my boxers cos my pants torn? Would it be when I first met you? Would it be when I scored my first try? Or would it just be a blank canvas? What would it be like? What monumental moments do I have in my life that would be of such pressing importance? Or are there even any? If I could have a taste of immortality, I would do just that. Commit suicide.

Stellar

2006-06-13T23:50:00.000-07:00

Stellar
Meet me in outer space.
We could spend the night; watch the earth come up.
I've grown tired of that place; won't you come with me?

Meet me in outer space.
I could hold you close, if you're afraid of heights.
I need you to see this place, it might be the only way that I can show you how it feels to be inside of you.

How do you do it?
Make me feel like I do.
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew.

You are stellar.

Sober

2006-05-29T01:59:00.000-07:00

Sober.
I'm vulnerable now.
My chest cavity is spread open on your table.
Operate on your will.
The call is yours to make.
Fill me up or empty me.
Dig it out or pamper it.
Squeeze it when it stops
Or just leave it there to rot.
Whatever the case,
I am all yours now.

Straight Up

2006-05-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

Straight up. Give me a shot of double scotch single malt, straight up. Okay guys, I haven't been really coming back here that very often already and I apologise for that. Even so, I doubt there is a steady following here anyway. This address is probably at the bottom of your "Favourites" list and even then, I'd be really optimistic to think so. Screw that, screw you. I am here to apologise to those I have recently let down. To those that I haven't been mach of a true friend to. So if you get to read this. Please accept this apology. I will not put in fancy words and string my sentances in charming lines. Just a simple apology. I'm sorry. Straight up.

Idle Wise

2006-05-02T08:54:00.000-07:00

Idle Wise.
She's gorgeous don't you think?
I looked back and passed a wink.
I'd never expect her to come
barking up this old tree of slum.
Who would have expected a fork,
Made of exquisite silverware,
Move over to this dork,
That has nothing but a stupid glare.
So thank you,
Misery does love company.
And in Debauchery he found company.

Be My Karen O

2006-04-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Be my Karen O.
Seduce me with torn fish net stockings.
Entice me with your blacks gloves and smeared lipstick.
Slowly, drown me in your beer of choice.
Let me sink into your orgasmic growl,
And fumble into the soulful moans.
You can spend one whole day
Telling me about your next conquest
On the human race,
One indie rock fan at a time.
They don't love you like I love you.
Slowly let your fingers dig into my soul.
Be my Karen O.

Masochism

2006-04-24T07:50:00.000-07:00

Masochism.Somebody please tell me why am I still going through this. What pleasure do I derive from seeing my own limbs get butchered one by one, finger by finger. What sick sick games is my mind playing with me, can somebody please enlighten me thank you. It's one thing to enjoy watching these gruesome acts being done to someone on screen but actually enjoying it happening on yourself, that's just mental. To be honest, I have no idea why, when I see somebody being gut on screen I cringe a little, my eyelids get a little heavier than usual and I find myself strategically turning to aside a little and my head tilt away a little. But when I see me own heart being dug out with her bare hands and torn to pieces little by little, I find myself smiling a little, I feel a little warm and fuzzy inside ( even though I theoratically do not have a heart for that ). Shoot me. Please. Or you can just get someone to do it if your knees are buckling under the pressure or if your shirt cuffs are wet from the sweat of your palms.

Inflatable

2006-04-17T03:54:00.000-07:00

Inflatable. In the span of 3 and 7/8 days, I have come to realise that nothing ever seems to shine anymore. I have given up finding beauty in sunshiney days and endless rainbows. Instead, I find myself looking to thunderstorms and lightening dances. I find myself looking for beauty in gloom. You may think that I am trying to be pseudo-emotional right here, trying to tap into the never disappointing river of pathos to the extent that it becomes bathos. Go ahead, spoil yourself with those thoughts. I am going to be self-indulgent. Everyone is inflatable to someone and everyone has a point of inflatability that once breached, will lead to an explosion be it of a joy or anger. Well me, I have yet to find mine. I took a short journey in that span of 3 and 7/8 days and this is what I've found out. I am a cult classic if I were to be a movie - adored by little, deeply loved by a few; quirky, offbeat and a tad campy at times. I am like drum and bass, my mum's curry chicken sauce and a box of cereals with milk in it - an acquired taste. So now, I will learn to accept that fact, and move on. Now everybody can start throwing your rotten tomatoes and eggs onto the stage as I exit stage left. I will merely look forward and raise my right hand with my middle and index fingers in the air, knuckles smiling at you all. Cheers you cunts.

Five Things

2006-04-06T00:22:00.000-07:00

Tagged by both liwen and nicole mok. Argh. You know how I hate this kind of questionnaires.

Five Songs which you know all the lyrics to, right off your head, right now.

1. Tom Waits - Bad Liver and a Broken Heart
2. Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah
3. Johnny Cash - Hurt
4. Snow Patrol - Run
5. Robert Post - Got None

Five Things You Would Do If You Were A Millionaire.

1. Save 80% of it, Split 15% between my dad, mum and 2 sisters, save the 5% for myself.
2. Shop till I so sick of shopping.Which I highly doubt will happen.
3. Buy myself my 6 series Beemer or my Ford Anglia 1.0 and pimp it up.
4. Donate a huge sum to the homeless children fund.
5. Get a maid to tidy my room up because it's in a disatrous mess.

Five Bad Habits.

1. LYING!
2. Sloth.
3. Spending more than I earn.
4. Procastinating.
5. Mumbling.

Five Things You Like To Do.

1. Movies/ The O.C./ Prison Break/ Entourage
2. Sleeping.
3. Shopping.
4. Eating. (Esp Dessert)
5. Having something to do. Anything.

Five Things You Will Never Wear, Buy, Or Get New Again.

1. Baggy Clothes.
2. Hawaiian Shirts.
3. Cheesy Text Tee Shirts
4. Bermudas that go beyond the knees.
5. Underwear. I am devout Boxer.

Five Favourite Toys/Things.

1.My Ipod.
2. The Patch on my wall where the paint is falling off.
3. My laptop
4. My handphone.
5. My Obey Belt.

You're IT! (Five People to Do This)

1. God. ( I want to see if the lyrics you are know are hymns and your bad habits)
2. Nasrul
3. Nigel
4. Jerry
5. Satan! (I want to see what YOUR lyrics are)

Bed

2006-04-02T09:15:00.000-07:00

Bed.
I don't really know how this works,
and I ain't really in the mood to find out.
Lately, I have been wandering with empty pockets.
And they aren't the only things that are empty.
They come and go as they please,
And as much as I find myself surrounded by them,
I can't quite remember ever feeling remotely like this before.
Heart pounding with excitement when I enter,
Blood racing each other to the ends of my body.
This brings my mind and body to a whole new level!
BUT
It all slowly fades into the background upon entry.
The faces blur.
The voices dim.
The noises fade.
And soon I find myself alone again.
Tasting that familiar taste again,
And as much as I put myself into situations where I hope to thrive,
She just keeps coming back for me.
Time after time.
She leans forward and gently kisses my lips,
Tells me it will all be alright.
And yet again,
like any other night,
I find myself cuddling in bed with the familiar face of solitude.

Since Feeling is First

2006-04-02T08:50:00.000-07:00

Since feeling is first,
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a far better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
--the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death I think is no parenthesis

No One Know's I'm Gone

2006-03-25T02:36:00.000-08:00

Hell above and heaven below,

All the trees are gone.

The rain makes such a lovely sound,

To those who are six feet under ground.

The leaves will bury every year,

And no one knows I'm gone.

Live me golden, tell me dark.

Hide from Graveyard John.

The moon is full here every night,

And I can bathe here in his light.

The leaves will bury every year,

And no one knows I'm gone.

Extraordinary Thing

2006-03-24T04:22:00.000-08:00

Cheer up, it might never happen, no.
It might never happen, we will see.
As I sit here spitting and churning, no.
It's clear that it's happening right now to me.

Make it special
For a loved one
For a stranger
This is subtle
Hard to come by
Extraordinary thing

Oh no, there's even something
Something's got to be better than nothing.
Just because it is the end of the beginning
Doesn't mean it's the beginning of the end.

Falling fragile
Broken busted
All for nothing
Sing my heart out
For a stranger
Extraordinary thing

Security

2006-03-17T21:37:00.000-08:00

Security.
Last night, with my arms around your legs and yours around my neck and my head barely there, it was the most beautiful thing ever. I felt safe. I felt belonged. I felt loved. Thanks.

Bad Liver and a Broken Heart

2006-03-12T00:27:00.000-08:00

Bad Liver and a Broken Heart.
Well I got a bad liver and broken heart, yeah,
I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
And I don't have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can't get a drink
And I wish you'd a-known her, we were quite a pair,
She was sharp as a razor and soft as a prayer
So welcome to the continuing saga, she was my better half, and I was just a dog
And so here am I slumped, I've been chipped and I've been chumped on my stool
So buy this fool some spirits and libations, it's these railroad station bars
And all these conductors and porters, and I'm all out of quarters
And this epitaph is the aftermath, yeah I choose my path, hey, come on, Kath,
He's a lawyer, he ain't the one for ya
No, the moon ain't romantic, it's intimidating as hell,
And some guy's trying to sell me a watch
And so I'll meet you at the bottom of a bottle of bargain Scotch
I got me a bottle and a dream, it's so maudlin it seems,
You can name your poison, go on ahead and make some noise
I ain't sentimental, this ain't a purchase, it's a rental, and it's purgatory,
And hey, what's your story, well I don't even care
Cause I got my own double-cross to bear
And I'll see your Red Label, and I'll raise you one more,
And you can pour me a cab, I just can't drink no more,
Cause it don't douse the flames that are started by dames,
It ain't like asbestos
It don't do nothing but rest us assured,
And substantiate the rumors that you've heard

Recovery

2006-03-05T06:49:00.000-08:00

Recovery.
I turn to you for support,
Yet away you walked from me.
Turned your back,
Up and left me sitting here.
Now I resort to intoxicating drugs,
To take my mind of you.
To relief myself of the solitude.
To rid myself of the anguish.
Thanks to you.
So cheers to that,
You've made me one of those of die young.
And like they said,
Only the good die young.

Jane Doe

2006-02-24T20:35:00.000-08:00

Jane Doe.
An orange knee length dress she wore,
The night she came a-knocking.
A murderer standing at my door,
With a charm that's simply disarming.

I opened up immedietly, unknowingly,
Drawn to her in a drunken stupor.
And when I did, momentarily,
My legs lost touch of the floor.

I stood there rooted to an unknown platform,
Surrendering all defences.
She stabbed me with her ravishing smile,
And rendered me senseless.

Dead as I can be i lay,
Beneath her immaculate nose.
Underneath her watching eyes,
I pray to see only those.

Loop Life

2006-02-23T20:04:00.000-08:00

Loop Life.
You inspire me to raise higher.
To live better and the die faster.
Swimming across an ice cold river,
I find myself shivering.
I do things to feel the pain.
I cry hard to feel my eyes.
I live faster to find the day I die.
Until then,
My life looks better through lens
And definitely sounds better through words.

Hurt

2006-02-18T11:37:00.000-08:00

Hurt.

I hurt myself today

to see if i still feel.

I focus on the pain,

the only thing that's real.

The needle tears a hole

the old familiar sting,

try to kill it all away,

but I remember everything.

What have I become,

my sweetest friend?

Everyone I know,

goes away in the end.

And you could have it all,

my empire of dirt,

I will let you down,
I will make you hurt.

I wear this crown of thorns

upon my liars chair:

full of broken thoughts,

I cannot repair.

Beneath the stains of time,

the feelings disappear.

You are someone else,

I am still here.

Johnny Cash - Hurt

Linen

2006-02-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

Linen.
I wish you were still in bed with me.
So that I could hold you a little longer.
To breathe in the scent of your hair,
To take in all of you,
Every single inch of you.
The smoothness of your skin when it grazes mine.
The softness of your hands when they hold mine.
I wish you were still in bed with me.

Lonely Poison

2006-02-03T21:43:00.000-08:00

Lonely Poison.
Stuck to my walls are drawings of people.
Random people I've never met.
I wish I could draw better
So I'd recognize them.
But all I can muster
Are stick and bean figures.
With dots and dashes
For eyes and smiles.
And even longer dashes,
For arms and legs.
In them I have company,
To run away with me to
Yonder lands that I make up,
When I sit beneath my bedroom window,
Poisoning myself alone.

Closure

2006-01-31T00:44:00.000-08:00

Closure. We all need some and at times we never really want some, it comes knocking on our door. Like a long lost friend you've never seen in years, she comes to us with such warm embrace and stone cold motives. It is time to move on, to close this book and start on a brand new one. It's time for us substitute people to get involved with some other people's life, and provide them with the much needed closure. Goodbye my friends, take care my lovers. Be well and live even better.

The Boys I Mean Are Not Refined

2006-01-21T14:24:00.000-08:00

The boys I mean are not refined.
They go with girls who buck and bite.
They do not give a fuck for luck.
They hump them thirteen times a night.

One hangs a hat around her tit.
One carves the cross on her behind.
They do not give a shit for wit.
The boys I mean are not refined.

They come with girls who bite and buck.
Who cannot read and cannot write.
Who laugh like they would fall apart.
And masturbate with dynamite.

The boys I mean are not refined.
They cannot chat of that and this.
They do not give a fart for art.
They kill like you would take a piss.

They speak whatever's on their mind.
They do whatever's in their pants.
They boys I mean are not refined.
They shake the mountains when they dance.

Rene

2006-01-08T05:05:00.000-08:00

Rene.
Bring me to the other side.
Lead me to the darkness.
I want to be blind.
I never want to see.
I only want your hand to hold.
Help me forget everything around me.
Take my hand, and guide me.
Let me take my last look,
My last breath.
Now I am ready for the fatal hour.

Stella

2006-01-08T04:09:00.000-08:00

Stella.
Stella was a diver,
She never got far.
She wanted to find a lover,
And fly him to the stars.

Chad

2006-01-08T04:04:00.000-08:00

Chad.
Behind the curtains the sits a man.
A man who thinks he isn't there.
He sits and stares and occasionally stands.
And sometimes he even brushes his hair.
Then one fine day he got up and said,
"I've had enough of watching, it's time to go the bed."
He walked out of the window
Into the azure skies.
He left me a widow.
Without a goodbye.

Drugs

2006-01-07T15:20:00.000-08:00

Drugs.
That one minute of stupor.
Stimulating highs and heavy heads.
It'd don't work no more.
Fumes filled head.
Dirt infested lungs.
They don't work.
But I know it is there,
That I will see your face again.
I will hug you again on that side.
I will embrace you fully.
And bleed you dry.

In A Lonely Place

2006-01-02T08:27:00.000-08:00

In A Lonely Place
Caressing the marble and stone
Love that was special for one
The waste in the fever and heat
How I wish you were here with me now

Body that curls in and dies
Heart shares that awful daylight
Warm like a dog round your feet
How I wish you were here with me now

Hangman looks round as he waits
Cord stretches tight then it breaks
Someday we will die in your dreams
How I wish you were here with me now

Hollow

2005-12-31T19:37:00.000-08:00

Hollow. Seven years of my life have taken a long vacation. The system is slowly breaking down and everything is slowing down to an eventual stand-still. Mind and body gently shutting down into stupor. Thougts and brain activities are taking a cigarette break. Sweet intoxication of the body will now come in forms of unnerving and disgusting forms. Till the time she comes back, this is the state I will stay in. So god help me, let me find life again.

Intoxication

2005-12-28T14:21:00.000-08:00

Intoxication of the system.
The slow breakdown of tissues.
With every gentle inhalation,
Each senses slowly heightened.
All the pain will be numbed,
All the pleasure doubled.
Slowly we'll drift into a sensory oblivion.
I'll be going alone.
Goodbyes are hard to do.
On the other side I'll be waiting,
Come join me like a fool.

Apocalypse

2005-12-28T05:23:00.000-08:00

Apocalypse

Somebody told me a secret this morning. He whispered it in my ear.

"The world is coming to an end tonight, take care of yourself my dear."

And as sudden as he came, he disappeared.

Monogamy, Polygamy.

2005-12-27T19:28:00.000-08:00

Monogamy. Polygamy. Which is moral? Which is right? Is one really meant to devote his or her entire life to a single person and build their world around the other's existence? Or are we suppose to dwell and wonder? Do we want to be the ones sitting in the waiting room waiting to see the doctor? Or do we rather want to be the doctor who gets to see everyone? Is that why from young we were drilled to believe that the job of a doctor is a coveted one?

I leave you with this,

"One should always be in love. That is the reason why one should never marry." -Oscar Wilde

Brush the Cobwebs out of the Sky

2005-12-15T21:35:00.000-08:00

Brush the Cobwebs out of the Sky
I sucked
The moon
I spoke
Too soon
And how much did
It cost?
I was dropped from
Moonbeams
And sailed
On shooting stars
Maybe you'll
be president
But know
right from wrong
Or in the flood you'll
build an ark
And sail us to the moon

I Wish You Love

2005-12-04T00:46:00.000-08:00

Good-bye, no use leading with our chins
This is where our story ends
Never lovers, ever friends
Good-bye, let our hearts call it a day
But before you walk away
I sincerely want to say

I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss,
but more than this
I wish you love

And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
But more than wealth
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love.

Ain't No Love

2005-11-01T01:48:00.000-08:00

Ain't No Love

Some days i'm bursting at the seams

with all my half remembered dreams

and then it shoots me down again.

I feel the dampness as it creeps

I hear you coughing in your sleep

beneath a broken window pane.

Tomorrow girl i'll buy you chips

a lollipop to stain your lips

and it'll all be right as rain.

This ain't no love that's guiding me.

Deep Throat.

2005-11-01T00:34:00.000-08:00

Deep Throat.Looking at you sometimes just beats having the greatest meal on earth. You satisfy my picky palate of taste in every way possible with your lovely array of personalities out on display. If only days with you lasted longer and time stopped moving. If only people stopped judging and I could just bask in your company till kingdom come. But that day will never come, I know for sure. You'll never be in my arms even if I chopped them off and wrapped them around you dear. So I've come to accept the painful reality that even though we're always in the same blue sea, a clown fish can never befriend a rainbow coloured snapper.

Be Mine

2005-10-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Be Mine

from the very first moment i saw you
thats when i knew
all the dreams i held in my heart
had suddenly come true
knock me over stone cold sober
not a thing i could say or do
'cos baby when i'm walking with you now
my eyes are so wide
like you reached right into my head
and turned on the light inside
turning on the light
inside my mind

come on baby its all right
sunday monday day or night
red blue or white its plain to see
be mine be mine
that rain or shine night or day
whats the difference anyway
honey till your heart belongs to me
winter summer day or night
centigrade or fahrenheit
baby till your heart belongs to me
be mine be mine
thursday friday short or long
when you've got a love so strong
how can it be wrong now mercy me
be mine be mine
jumpin jesus holy cow!whats the difference anyhow
baby till your heart belongs to me

if i had some influence girl
with the powers that be
i'd have them fire that arrow at you
like they fired it right at me
and maybe when your heart and soul are burning
you might see
that every time i'm talking with you
it's always over too soon
that everyday feels so incomplete till you walk into the room
say the word now girl
i'll jump that moon

Wild Horses

2005-10-08T23:18:00.000-07:00

Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady you know who I am
You know I can't let you slide through my hands

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie
I have my freedom but I don't have much time
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried
Let's do some living after we die

Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day

Snow White

2005-10-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

Snow White.I chanced upon this lovely lady, who took my breath away. Just within 5 seconds, she knows I'll sway her way. We brushed shoulders while going in directions opposite, but in just that short amount of time she swept me off my feet. All decked out in white from head to toe (save for the ebony painted toe-nails), she looked like christmas morning. As I stood grounded and watched her walk away, she turned and smiled and at that moment I knew it was done. My heart from then on would never belong to anyone, but her. So santa, please heed my prayer and make this coming christmas morning as lovely as she is.

Fear

2005-08-31T22:56:00.000-07:00

Fear. Of losing that loving feeling. Of never ever being able to understand the meaning of ever being in love rather than lust. Of fallling so deep for you that I will never in this life be able to recover from it. Of finding you gone the next time I open my eyes. Of breathing too hard in case my heart blows when you come along. Of sleeping in case I never wake up again and leave without saying goodbye. Of meeting you for I would not want to say goodbye after that. Of kissing you in case I stain that pretty face.

Merry Me

2005-08-28T00:40:00.000-07:00

Merry Me.September looms. Mid-autumn blues. Never felt more enveloped than this. Never been surrounded by so many yet felt so completely alone before. It takes two cranes to built one. It takes pain to feel comfort. It takes sorrow to make joy actually joyful. It takes you to make me. No man is an island but they never said no man can't be left alone on an island. I see you people, but I need to feel. I need to find back that sense of touch that have neglected me. Horrid nightmares haunt me. Trees sway and I shiver at night. Let's hope the next sunrise brings better days. Will you merry me?

Till Kingdom Come

2005-08-26T22:48:00.000-07:00

Till Kingdom Come

One... two...
Steal my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time my time has come
Let me in unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know which way I've come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone someone who hears
For you I've waited all these years

For you I'd wait 'Til Kingdom Come
Until my day my day is done
and say you'll come and set me free
just say you'll wait you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh I heard you sing
I wouldn't change a single thing

Really Random

2005-08-26T22:40:00.000-07:00

Really Random.I could be the last living being in a plastic box that you used for your experiments. Looking through at everything from the inside and taking note of every single flaw in you. How many strands of hair you have out of place today, whether anot your lush velvet purple top matches your new True Religion jeans, or whether anot the your eyeliner has smudged. I could be lying back down in your condominium pool at 3 in the morning. This could be the open sea. I could be drifting into oblivion. This could be the clear blue sky. I could be flying. Or maybe, this could just be my inner pirates robbing me of my sanity and making my heart walk the plank with your knife stuck up my back. Maybe you could change your mind and let me be your 2nd-in-command. Maybe. Maybe not.

Fool

2005-07-03T04:18:00.000-07:00

Fool.Midnight love, I beg for you to please return. It is been far too long since I've last felt the warmth of your hands in the midst of struggling through throngs of people. Too long since I've feel the rush of blood through my veins whenever your cheek brushes mine. Too long since I found excitement in stealing glances at you whenever you are not looking. But I guess this was how it's supposed to be, me sitting alone at a bar letting stones teach me to fly and love to teach me how to lie whilst you walk away in another man's arms. So long, farewell. It was good while it lasted, however much I wished it would have lasted longer.

Art

2005-06-22T05:14:00.000-07:00

Art. An imitation of life or at least that is how I wished it would be. Looking back at photographs of us and them and everything else that was beautiful, one can only pray that they were actual reflections of life. Waking up in ungodly hours like 3 or 2 in the morning to take a leak, I find myself greeted by lightning dancing among dark clouds strung up upon the cold blue sky. It is then that I think about the skies I've shared with my lovely neighbour and friends 2 1/2 metres above the sand at West Coast Park chomping down on curly fries and sipping down ice cold coke. I miss you even in the middle of the night when I am about to take a piss.

My social life is slowly fading into oblivion.
I've lost faith in girls.
I am weaned of love.
Spare me the fuzzy feeling.
I don't want it anymore.

Moving Out

2005-05-28T01:50:00.000-07:00

Moving Out. I am leaving this place. Forsaking the pictures. Casing up the artworks and pulling plastic sheets over the furniture. It's time I move on. It's time I try to find a new picture to gush over, a new favourite dish to drool over, a new smell to linger over, a new you to feel for. I'm leaving this place the way it is right now, with nothing changed and beautiful memories intact. Come back once in a while to clear the gathered dust and repaint the walls. I will never let something as beautiful as this fade away. Ever. You will occupy a prime spot along the Hollywood Boulevard in my heart. One of those big and beautiful houses. The ones that everyone can lay their eyes upon but only a rare few are able to walk through those doors. I, for one, pride myself for the fact that I have been on the lawn, not through your door yet but I've frolicked on your lawn. So now I am off to find something new, either better or worse then you as nothing will be able to be on par with you. In fact, you've set the bar so high, it's hard to find something worse or even find anything at all. Either way, be well love is all I can say as I step out the fence, looking back, the grass was so much softer than it is today. The sky was so much clearer, nights were so much cooler and stars with so much lovelier, when you were lying down with me on the lawn. So if one day, you decide that you would want to explore that side of your feelings once again, I will come running back to your lawn, all you have to do is ask. Please do.

Perhaps

2005-05-14T14:40:00.000-07:00

Perhaps. Sitting in a room that is vaguely familar after downing countless flutes of champagne and glasses of Chivas, it is hard not to wonder why am I even doing this. Why did I even go in the first place. Why did I even bothered. What's the use when half the time, all we ever are is invisible. In a place where light was minimal, I lost the company of the one closet to me, my dear shadow. I felt naked, stripped of not only my clothes but my skin as well leaving my pumping heart and lungs for all to see. The showcase of emotions under a skeletal rib cage. Does it even matter to her? Or are we just mere shadows trying to find light to be with her? Perhaps it's time we detach ourselves from feelings and numb our minds of thoughts. Perhaps, it's time we move from the apple tree we've been sitting so long under waiting for apples to fall. Perhaps, it's just time we learn how to forget. Perhaps, it shouldn't have even started.

Missing

2005-05-08T00:34:00.000-07:00

Missing.
I prayed heaven today
Would bring its hammer down on me
And pound you out of my head
I can't think with you in it

I dragged all that I owned
Down a dirt road to find you
My shoes worn out and used
They can't take me farther

The sun burned a hole in my roof
I can't seem to fix it
I hope the rain doesn't come
And wash me down the gutter

She rides in a car like a queen on a card
And the guns of her mind aim a line
Straight at mine to a heart that was broke
Tried to feel but got choked in a smoke of
A desert
A beach with no leisure a night that's so blue
Feed the aching in you and the background
Birds take flight from the earth
Where the bonfire burns and the night
Current turns on a lifeboat floating
Down a river of sleep
I can't see her hollow eyes
I'm walking along with my boots full of rocks
I can't believe these tears were mine
I'll give them to you to put away in a box

Something always takes the place of
Missing pieces you can take and put
Together even though
You know there's something missing
Something always missing always
Someone missing something

I've said too much, wasted too much of your time.
Let's get back to living and leave me to mourn,
The death of a feeling, the lost of a soul.

Enjoy

2005-05-02T04:22:00.000-07:00

Love of the loveless. Luck of the luckless. Whatever you wish to call it. Go ahead. Lately, I feel my charm eluding me. Or maybe, it wasn't even there at all and all that existed was a false sense of charm the brewed in a cauldron bubbling up north. Whatever it is, it might be the result of my hair or the lack of it. Or maybe, it's just that fact that everything I try to do doesn't really seem enough to make you mine. Or maybe, maybe, maybe it just because I didn't have any to begin with and puberty just decided to come late with maturity and reality as company. Either way, I'm losing it. Lost it. Never had it. Take a pick. Tonight, the choice is yours. Enjoy.

Newil

2005-05-01T03:25:00.000-07:00

Newil.Rising from a bed facing the sea, salt-tinged air flowing through into my lungs. Another day of maudlin begins. Desire. To run into your arms and let the rest of our story end in hugs and kisses. Longing. To be the one you run to when nails come loose or whenever you just feel like your hair ain't pretty enough. I want to be buried under gazillions of bedsheets with you and spend days sipping starbucks and taking silly photo under the constant gaze of trepassers in my lovely little world called "You". For now, I will contend with a matt photograph of your lips beside my ear up on my closet door in a secluded part of the island where I earn my pay as a naval diver. Cheers.

National Calling.

2005-04-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

National Calling.
Well mates, the nation somehow figured that she is in dire need of my services to serve and protect the country and has summoned me to a camp in Sembawang to train and beef up for that role. After 18 years, they finally realise that they need me, and we call ourselves a first world nation. They thought rather long to figure that out. Sheesh.
Rubbish aside, I'm here to bid my fellow blog readers farewell. It's gonna be awhile till I write here again but don't you worry, you will get your fair share of reading when they release me in May. I am sure there will be a whole lot to talk about considering the amount of dicks I'm going to encounter inside.
So there you go, I'm gone. Be well people. Till we meet again.

If Only.

2005-04-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

Crawl slowly, pass those sheets and blankets.

And snuggle up beside me.

Come lie next to me.

You'll read your magazines,

I'll feed you ice cream with whipped cream,

Paint your toe nails with black hearts

And run my fingers through your new hair.

Then gently, kiss you goodnight.

If Only.

Enigma

2005-03-30T22:14:00.000-08:00

Enigma.

The very existence of me challenges the possibility of me even existing at all. Kudos to that N.E. Let's all look up 'Cody' in the dictionary and see what it means! Maybe we might just find out what he really is under the 70 layers of masks that he wears! No! No! Let's just go google him, that's going to garner so much more results then flipping the pages of a dictionary. Maybe then we might learn much more about what really goes through that thick skull of his and runs through that muscle tucked beneath his ribs.
Let my existence marvel you, I am a narcissistic enigmatic.
Keep on guessing loves.
It just keeps getting better.
:)(:

I Miss You Now

2005-03-27T08:21:00.000-08:00

I feel numb wanna hold you
Wanna tell you that you'll be alright.
Sad news from today's call
All the pictures are all in my mind.
I miss you now.

Older we're getting older
Are all my friends
gonna leave me and die.
I'm helpless, it's gonna get us, before it gets us
I wanna kiss you goodbye.

I miss you now.

Breakwater

2005-03-19T04:25:00.000-08:00

Breakwater.
We often sit at home at night,
With some we love or particularly like.
But lately i've been denied that joy,
Of having someone or even a toy.

Decline

2005-03-19T04:06:00.000-08:00

Decline.
Come join me in my slow descent,
Hold me close, give me your hands.
Don't look back there's nothing left,
An blanket of darkness and lovely mess.
Do come with me you're all I have.
Your company is all I crave for,
Your eyes are all I yearn to look into.
My shadow is lost, gone with the light.
My heart too left along with Sanity.
So come please come. I beg. I plead.

If Only

2005-03-14T02:18:00.000-08:00

If Only.Vintage Levi's 501's, armed with a Heineken in one hand and your fingers in the other, white high tops dangling 25 stories above ground, as we sit on the edge of the roof watching the rain drops slowly fall. That's where I want to be tonight, in the company of you darlings with nothing beneath our feet and above our heads. Hold me now, don't let me fall over. Things will start to get better. Hearts will find each other and fingers will find spaces to fill.

Delicate

2005-03-09T23:28:00.000-08:00

Delicate
We might kiss,
When we are alone.
When nobody's watching,
We might take it home.
We might make out,
When nobody's there,
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate.
So why d'ya fill my sorrow,
With the words, you've borrowed,
From the only place you've known?
Why d'ya sing hallelujah
If it means, nothing to ya?
Why d'ya sing with me at all?

Frankly Speaking

2005-03-06T02:40:00.000-08:00

Frankly Speaking.

We construct imaginary
Geographies for our lives
And in the crowded
Contested space of
The cite, every brick
Is a mnemonic for someone.

Lure

2005-03-06T02:38:00.000-08:00

The city carries a story.
The city presents a Lure
Into its own version
Of the past; you could say
It tells tales, that it lies.

Magenta City

2005-03-06T02:27:00.000-08:00

Unbounded wealth is the neighbour
Of the most hideous poverty.

The most gorgeous pomp is placed
In strong relief by the most
Deplorable squalor.

The most seducing luxury is
Only seperated by a narrow wall
From the most appalling misery.

Magenta City

Update

2005-03-04T01:46:00.000-08:00

Update.Two busts in a week, escorts, lock-ups and statements, I can say my week is pretty damn fine. So this is it, officially 19, spent my birthday 3 days ago rather ravishly I must say with visits from the weirdest of people and ZERO gifts. ( Yes, I am dropping a hint here assholes. ) A level results came out and well, I think I did pretty darn well for my standards considering the fact that I was still hitting the dancefloors during my A Levels.

A - Literature

D - History

E - Economics

A2- GP

There you go, I can go on and whince and whine about my D and E but that would be too unlike me. So that's for you lovely humans out there. Go ahead and bitch if you want to, see if I care. That's all for now. Be well. And thank you Nasha for the miracle. (:

A-Muse-Ment.

2005-02-25T22:46:00.000-08:00

A-Muse-Ment.Come, run along and plant a kiss on my cheeks. We haven't been in close proximity for weeks. So bring some pot and a handgun please, and a round of bullets so we can shoot both our knees. Then when we're finally done my love, we'll lie back on a gigantic field of lilies and gently bleed.

The Blower's Daughter

2005-02-19T02:32:00.000-08:00

And so it is,
Like you said it would be.
Life goes easy on me,
Most of the time.
And so it is,
The shorter story.
No love. No glory.
No hero in her sky.
I can't take my eyes off of you.
And so it is,
Just like you said it should be.
We'll both forget the breeze,
Most of the time.
And so it is,
The colder water.
The Blower's daughter.
The pupil in denial.
I can't take my mind off of you.
Till I find somebody new.

Your Slumber

2005-02-16T02:39:00.000-08:00

Your Slumber

Imma take a 4 month hiatus,

To master the art of sew.

To thread a picture of you,

Onto the underside of my eyelid.

Then keep my eyes closed for good,

To steal an bag full of sleep

And nightmares filled with you.

So if you find me looking,

At something that isn't there.

Do not bother asking,

It probably isn't there.

Technical Dreams

2005-02-07T09:41:00.000-08:00

Technical Dreams.
I'ma going to build meself a robot,
and hang it round me waist.
I'ma make it out of spare parts,
you'd find in everyday waste.
Then sell it for 300 smacks,
and earn meself a fortune.
To buy a rosewood coffin,
lined with velvet linen.

Hope

2005-01-25T16:12:00.000-08:00

Hope.

You never fail

to disappoint me.

Love

2005-01-24T01:35:00.000-08:00

Love. Void of it. Never been. Craving it badly. Hate it. Lost it. Found it. Tasted it. Sweet. Bitter. Burnt by it. It.

Bitter

2005-01-24T01:23:00.000-08:00

Bitter
I'm waiting for something else
i've already lost myself
this day is descending
the flower is bending
and i tried to believe in these lies
i tried to still see with black eyes
i wanted to tame you but
you never came through
and i came to a resting place
i tried to take just a taste
the future is wasted
and i can't see the light from the sun
i can't even see where to run
you said we are learning but
the whole world is burning
its so wrong

Everything

2005-01-23T11:18:00.000-08:00

Everything
Finally here,
Won't stay till late.
I want to feel you.
I need to hear you.
You are the light,
That's leading me
To the place,
Where I find peace,
Again.
You are the strength
That keeps me walking.
You are the hope,
That keeps me trusting.
You are the light,
To my soul.
You are my purpose,
You're everything.
And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you.
Would you tell me how can it be
Any better than this.
You hold me in your hands,
You won't let me fall.
You steal my heart,
And you take my breath away.
Would you take me in?
Take me deeper now.

Umbrella

2005-01-23T02:23:00.000-08:00

Umbrella.Finally I'm here, albeit too late but still in time to see your breathless state. You lay there motionless. Eyes wide open yet still they seem to be so shut. I've seen this happen before, in a time not far away. Where all you ever hope for in the end is *another body beside you on soft sand to share the sky with but all you ever end up with is just being by your pathetic self alone on wet sand stuck all over your body in the middle of a rainfall.

She walked towards me with an umbrella full of holes,

To shelter me from the insignificant woes.

Fresh Ideas

2005-01-23T01:49:00.000-08:00

Fresh Ideas
Sugar-coated painkillers,
Run slowly down the throat.
Honey-dipped goodbye letters,
Kept me sitting by the road.
Sweet nothings like days gone by,
On rooftops we watched time fly.
With your hair between my fingers,
In hope that the sweet smell lingers.
And your head upon my shoulders,
With each breath we move much closer.
Then at the final breath you took,
I gazed deep into a sea of brown.
And when we kissed my hands they shook,
For fear that i might let you down.
With time I grew to learn that you,
Will always stay in far-away view.
In a pedestal too high to reach,
You and I will never meet.

Toilet Wipes

2005-01-19T13:06:00.000-08:00

Toilet Wipes.Reality stings but I guess it's a dosage we need once in awhile to immune our system from deadly viruses like lovelessness or faux joy or anything along those lines. Just like how we constantly need to be injected with vaccines to keep our body from the harm of malaria or hepatitis a, b, c, d, till whatever letter you deem scary enough to make you go back for more vaccines. Back to the point, it has dawned upon me that there will always be this constantly minute number of selected blessed beings who are carpets made of real genuine fur left sprawled across a living room floor plainly for decorative and trampling purposes only. Once we get dirty and are passed our USED-BY date, off to the dumps we go or into a corner of the house where we find solace in cobwebs and cockcroaches. We never get asked out for movies unless there is not a single soul to fill the seat next to them. We never get invited to parties unless we are needed to wash the dishes or be there to buy them drinks or just to fill up empty spaces to make the dancefloor look packed in photos.

"Well, I hereby deem thee, Sir Cody, Lord and Knight of the Fellowshit.

Welcome."

Stare Please

2005-01-16T22:30:00.000-08:00

Stare Please

I may not be the guy of your dreams,
But you're a star in everyone of mine.
I may not have eyes that gleam,
But yours to me will always shine.
I may not have a picturesque smile,

There's hopeless smiles better than mine.

The only thing that I have for you,

Even through those times when

My texts and calls mean nothing to you.

Even when you never fail to leave

Them either unreplied or unanswered.

Is a firm stronghold of belief,

That one day,

You'll soften up and look at me,

Like I was really there.

Cows

2005-01-15T01:17:00.000-08:00

Cows

Lying atop the roof of the car,

with your head upon my chest.

Your fingers gently tickling mine,

as we got lost in time.

Please let me know how cows feed there,

and how the raindrops fall.

Then later show me how to stop myself,

from loving you much more.

Road Trip

2005-01-14T22:31:00.000-08:00

Road Trip.I'm taking a break from this life of mine. Too much shards on the road, too much thorns in the bushes. I shall pack up the bare essentials to survive, music, food and water, phones are not needed because only trouble rings me and that is the one thing I'm cowardly running away from. Pack all of them up in a trolley bag and dragging it all behind me. A backpack would be impossible to carry with the amount of arrows i've got behind me so that rules out any form of sling bags too. That aside, back to my road trip, I'll be heading to god knows where, just got my feet to lead and my bag to follow. If anyone needs me, make do being without me, it wouldn't be that much of a mammoth task.

See you around loves.
Be well.

Zero

2005-01-13T07:21:00.000-08:00

I wish it is as easy spreading joy to the rest of the world as it is spilling out sorrow. Sadly, and ironically, happiness is not that easy a subject to deal with in my life. Joy is hard to define and rarely comes by. Even if it does, those dosages are hardly sufficient to keep an 18 year old chap grinning from ear to ear for more than 5 minutes. Find somebody to love and leave each day as if it's your last. Smile a little bit more and maybe the happiness might last. But it's kind of hard to achieve that when you have a fucked-up curve for a smile. So there goes the photos and pretty mug shots, and gone are the trigger-happy snapping sessions. I feel empty inside, void of love and any other feelings while you're at it. Nothing. Null. Zero.

Lake Michigan

2005-01-11T18:17:00.000-08:00

Lake Michigan

So much I want to tell you,

So much I need to say.

So many things to show you,

If only you would stay.

Rainbows, stars and sunrises,

Fresh flowers by your bedside every morning,

Are few of the many surprises,

Upon you I wish to spring.

If only all these could be done,

If only we were one.

If only days were longer,

and nights forever young.

To Nicole

2005-01-10T03:50:00.000-08:00

"Looking at you,

makes my heart skip beats.

Not getting to look at you,

makes it stop completely.

Knowing you'll be there,

makes me want to go so bad.

But knowing i'll see what i can't get,

makes the happiness turn sad."

To Nicole,

Lets sink in this boat of ours.

Slumber

2005-01-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

Slumber
I'll go to bed tonight,
a much poorer man.
With a lighter load
but a heavier heart,
I tread the road,
with bended knees
and blistered feet.
The road that leads,
to a loveless life.
The road that leads,
to a life bereft of you.
Solitude once again,
entices me with her charm.
Into her arms i
trip and hopelessly fall into.
Let's all pray Love never sleeps.
At least not in the land you reside.
I know mine for you will never sleep.
It never will.
It never will.

Cupcakes

2005-01-07T13:57:00.000-08:00

Cupcakes

I guess this love

would never be.
There's never Us,

just You or Me.

Goodnight Goodnight,

Or so i wish.

I'm in too deep,

to fall asleep.

Come hither slumber,

Play that sexy number.

Into eternal oblivion,

I'll dance alone.

Rooftop View

2005-01-06T16:40:00.000-08:00

Rooftop View

I sit and watch you from afar,

Atop a roof under 4 stars.

It's only here that i can stare,

Without you knowing over there.

It gets lonely here sometimes,

When the only place i can have you,

Is up here in my mind.

I've been, secretly falling in love

With a You I know I'd never have.

And slowly, I fall apart.

As I watch you leave with my heart.

It gets lonely here sometimes,
When the only place i can have you,
Is up here in my mind.

Dreams

2005-01-06T16:20:00.000-08:00

Dreams

All I can ever have of you,

Is a hug or two,

And "I Love You"s

That only comes

In shades of blue.

The closest I'll get,

Of your lips by my neck,

Is when you lean over,

To sniff at Polo Blue.

And when you fall

Asleep on my lap,

I wished and wished,

You'd never wake.

So we'd could sit

There forever,

Even if it means

Not ever feeling my leg.

Blank Canvas

2005-01-04T03:15:00.000-08:00

Blank Canvas.

A new year. A new start.

But the same old shit just seems to come right back.

Nothing seems to being going right so far except for the love and friendship shared among the lovely few that have been through the shit i've given them and still love me all the same.

Kudos to them.

That aside, love from others either love very much to elude me or they just get a kick out of seeing my strive so hard to get something they know i will not be able to lay a finger on. New people have been walking in, taking new spaces in that piece of shit in me they call a heart. Lovely people they are really, encompassing sweetness beyond saccherrine and angelic goodness as they move their furniture into their new home called my heart.

What am i to you?
Am i just somebody you turn to
When no one else seems to be around you?
Or am i more than that?

New tenants, be nice.

Let's hope for a lovely 2005.

Possible Side Effects

2005-01-02T13:22:00.000-08:00

Caught between the choice of opening two doors now. Actually one. The other just leads me down the same old straight path with the sign that reads "Life Without Love". On the door, reads the sign

"Love and Tragedy

PS: Possible Side Effects"

What should i do? Where should i go? I just want to love you. I just want to hold you close with your lips at my ears gently telling me you're happy. But i do not know you! I do not know how close to get, how much to take. All i want is just for you to be in my embrace everynight before i go to sleep so at least, i take happiness with me to bed and wak e in the morning greeted not by an empty wall or broken glasses but by your lovely face.

But what if i lose you? What if i open the door and lose all that we have shared? Lose this beautiful bond forged with two beautiful person? What if everytime i look at you, you will look away in fear? What if...

In The Mood For You

2005-01-01T14:50:00.000-08:00

In The Mood For You.
Let's sit there tonight,
with the rest of the world
out of sight.
Me, a lover.
She, just a friend.
Watch the stars dance,
and fall asleep with
her head in my hands.

Twilight Love

2004-12-28T15:26:00.000-08:00

Twilight Love.
Midnight runs into twilight dawn,
Love created through supper bonds.
The charm of slumber eludes me,
As the beauty of dark entices.

I find solace wandering alone
In the vast bleak emptiness
Occasionally dotted with stars
Pleased that i've "joined" them.

In these dead night escapades
I stumbled upon an image
That would not leave my head.

In that pair of eyes i find peace
In her voice I gently sleep.
And find the charm of slumber,
Again.

Trouble Sleeping

2004-12-28T15:21:00.000-08:00

Trouble Sleeping.

I'm having trouble sleeping.

You're jumping in my bed.

Twisting in my head.

Leave me.

I'm having trouble breathing.

You're sitting on my chest.

I sure could use the rest.

Leave me.

It's you

Why's it always you

And never me.

Never dared to let
My feelings free.

Why's it always you

And never me.

Never care too

much about honesty.

Swagger

2004-12-23T19:34:00.000-08:00

Swagger
Deck yourself in an Abercrombie tank
Washed out denim skirt
And a pair of knee-high boots.

A tattoo on your arm,
A faux mohican hair do.
A cocky swagger.
A sexy snarl.
A "come get me" stare.

I wish i could have you.
I wish, i really do.

Beauty of Black

2004-12-15T22:51:00.000-08:00

Beauty of Black.When you find your body being seperated from the floor by only a simple mattress and your boxer-clothed body being covered by two blankets in a warm and humid night, you suddenly start to figure out that sometimes, what you cannot see is more beautiful than what actually catches your eye. It is so much more peaceful staring into a dark black canvas rather then at a piece of sunset that is already painted out for you. Let your imagination take the helm and run amok, let your eyes float like paint brushes and paint whatever you want to see. This indeed is a form of escapism, a perfect excuse for running away from everything, but it is the only outlet that a poor soul can afford. No fancy holidays or getaways to secluded beaches or amazing citeis, no cute little gadgets to take your mind off thoughts you wished would stop popping up in your head, just the stale night sky that never fails to be there every night to keep me company while the rest of the world chooses to rest their weary heads and hearts.

In this brilliant darkness, I revel and marvel in the shadows and the beauty of black. It is the only form i can afford and the only that i enjoy. In the midst of struggling to buy myself a few bags full of sleep, i get distracted by the darkness that resides outside my window.

Lazy Days

2004-12-09T02:30:00.000-08:00

Lazy Days
Stay home today, we'll order chinese
We'll ask the world
to stay away please.

Rest your head on my laps,
while i sit on your couch
and feed you grapes.

Then gently we kiss,
revel and marvel in
splendour and absolute bliss.

*I wish

Rain City

2004-12-07T23:33:00.000-08:00

Rain City

Opened my eyes, had a dream last night
That both my arms were broken
Evening time
Help me now or hold me down
I feel my world is tumbling
Spiral down

Oh my love I can't let go

Something's wrong, I can't let go

Nature's cruel she laughs at me

As I make my way through the century

As I slowly turn to house dust

Tumbling down

The rain comes down like a victory

In sheets of shining memory

Over and over circling around

Oh my love I can't let go

Something's wrong, I can't let go

Nature's cruel she laughs at me

Almost too much for my heart

When it rains

Oh tears my soul apart

When it rains

It rains so slowly

In the city where I'm from

Sweet Jazz

2004-12-03T01:27:00.000-08:00

Sweet jazz filtrates into my stream of blood,

as i sit there weeping about my broken heart.

Though love be love and hurt it does,

move out of this ditch i must.

My romance with life has thus far been sweet,

littered with notes of love that's bittersweet.

But now it seems the fire's fizzled,

even the storm turned into a drizzle.

I stand alone infront of a cliff,

screaming, "Why must you leave!"

"Come back to me you fucking bitch!"

Return From Paradise

2004-11-30T19:24:00.000-08:00

Return From Paradise.

Back from a trip that really cleared my mind. New place, new experience, whole new life that i would really wish to adopt. The company along was amazing, never felt so closed to them before and i never would want to forget that bond forged in a foreign land. Other than that, upon arriving back home, a tinge of sadness seeped in and i couldn't help but sigh and remind myself that i am back to reality where everything that happens here will be for a reason and there will be no more cheap thrills or 24 hour pubs just around the corner. Friendly faces will no longer be seen, people no longer come up to you to say hi, instead, they give you expressions that read,

"Come any closer and i will bite your fucking head off".

How sad.

Renaissance

2004-11-21T07:25:00.000-08:00

Renaissance

Here's a simple one, I'll spare you guys the glib tongue. I am terribly jaded and worned out. My mind is already on the first flight to paradise while my body sits in a couch with cushion in front of a lousy-ass laptop moaning about not being able to be together with his mind. The holes in my pockets are so damn deep you can hardly see the end to it, all you see is a darkness that stretches on forever. Let the moolahs start flowing in, i need new purpose in life other than just trying to ace something that never really meant much to me to begin with.

I need something new to look forward to; a new pair of eyes to look deep into; a new set of arms to fall into; add a set of bosum into the list for me to rest my lazy head on; a new set of lips to kiss; a new hand of fingers to play with. I need to get out of here and find myself a new life as a whole new person in a whole new different place.

Period.

Baby I'm a want you

2004-11-20T03:02:00.000-08:00

Baby I'm a want you.

Baby, I'm-a want you
Baby, I'm-a need you
You the only one I care enough to hurt about
Maybe I'm-a crazy
But I just can't live without...
Your lovin' and affection
Givin' me direction
Like a guiding light to help me through a darkest hour
Lately I'm a-prayin'
That you'll always be a-stayin' beside me
Used to be my life was just emotions passing by
Feeling all the while and never really knowing why...
Lately I'm a-prayin'
That you'll always be a-stayin' beside me.
Used to be my life was just emotions passing by
Then you came along and made me laugh
And made me cry...
You taught me why...
Baby, I'm-a want you
Baby, I'm-a need you
Oh, it took so long to find you, baby
Baby, I'm-a want you
Baby, I'm-a need you

Shoe Box

2004-11-20T02:45:00.000-08:00

Shoe Box. It's not really about what you want that matters but what wants you i suppose. Sometimes, the box that you keep your shoes in may be made of solid gold with a diamond encrusted nike swoosh on the top and the edges all lined with precious gems. But when you open it up and see a two year old Nike Terminator that stinks from all the numerous times you've ran in them from cops chasing you for wrecking things up, it just spoils everything. Sweet.

Short Story

2004-11-15T05:43:00.000-08:00

Short Story.When he first saw her there weren't shades to cover her clear grey eyes. Eyes met eyes, hands touched hands and soon, elbows rubbed elbows and crotch to crotch motion beckoned. It was short-lived but definitely well worth every single moment their lips laid above each other and tongues glided in fluid motion.

Today, she came in shades and that was not the only thing on her that was black. The black sweater she had on soaked up all of the sweltering heat that was coming from the sun and the sweat on her petite frame too. With a hole six feet deep in front and a stone four feet tall behind, a tear drop trickled down her cheek as she struggle to speak. She realised how difficult it is to speak without one half of her tongue that went down with him that night when they tried to groove too fast with tongues in cheek. (literally)

He choked on her tongue and ran short of air, and love.

Beard

2004-11-10T02:33:00.000-08:00

Beard
This time last year or so i heard,
a boy was starting to grow his beard.
He shaved and cut in hope for growth,
but all he got was 3 strands.

This boy he weep till his eyes bleed.
He moaned about his 3 strands of beard.
So depressed he was he cut his hair,
and glued them all up to his ear.